Thursday, 27 March 2008

  • Blacklisting “nice” guys

    They are as undesirable as himbos and man-whores in a relationship.  They have earned a place in my Black Book of men to stay away from along with video gamers, alcoholics, women beaters, convicts, and Prince Charming (because all women should stay away from imaginary men).  I’m talking about the “nice” guy. 

    Before everybody roll their eyes and accuse me of being one of those girls, I would first like to define who a "nice" guy is so there are no misunderstandings.  And I'll take the definition straight out of the famous "Ode to Nice Guys" essay. Yes, a “nice” guy is everything the author says a “nice” guy should be.  He is the chump who will give up a raid on WoW to listen to a girl bitch about how assholic her boyfriend and the rest of mankind are, comfort her when she whines about gaining 1.289 lbs., and be a reserve on her backup to her backup date list.

    Note how I have used quotation marks in describing the “nice’ guy.  This is because I think the adjective "nice" is very misleading.  It's actually an euphemism, a travesty.  In my world, I have another name for them: pussies.

    Guys like the one described in the essay realize how unreasonable the girl is but still comfort and assure her.  Good job for encouraging such pathetic behavior.  These guys have not only compromised themselves, they also knowingly and willingly allowed themselves to be used and walked all over.  If they just complacently listen to the girl rant about how all men are pigs, then they really have no balls.  Because only women and gay men would agree to such generalizations.

    The male friends that I have and respect would never let me use them like that.  I remember once confiding in my friend Theo before I broke up with my then current boyfriend.  I didn’t want to do it because I was scared to hurt my boyfriend’s feelings.  I cried and pulled the “poor me” speech.  He threw a bag of chips at me and told me to shut the fuck up because I was being stupid.  (He was also embarrassed because other people were staring.)  I wanted to kick him, but I also appreciated his honesty. 

    When I say I don’t go for “nice” guys, what I’m really saying is that I don’t go for tools, pushovers, and pansies.  Because I like nice guys who open doors, listen when I talk, and take care of me when I’m shit-faced, but I also like them with balls – someone to put me in place when needed.

Comments (64)

  • mayanao

    Good for you. :D
    I like bad boys, not...jerks?? if that makes sense. Of course they should be nice like what you described.
  • GhostBenjimon

    Ahhh brings back memories. The year was 2004. 27 year old Benjimon bagged his first 20 year old pre-med student. He had not had sex for four years.

    He was a nice guy. Upon observing their interactions for the first time the older sister of the 20 year old exclaimed "Don't be WHIPPED Benjimon! Don't be whipped..."

    Benjimon had no clue what she was talking about. He was just being "nice"

    He would learn though, oh would he ever learn.

    The other phrase I like to use for "nice" guys  is spineless twat or relationship forming like a mold envelopes a piece of cheese in the fridge.
  • theoyee

    lol. i'm the best friend out there ever. dont u ever cry in front of me fool. lol
  • cbr600

    what's wrong with liking video games and alcohol?
  • Femme003
    Well done! :)

    Amen, sister!  That is exactly how I feel. 

  • mystic_sapphire

    i have a friend who is exactly as you describe. i've read somewhere that in a lot of cases, once the 'nice' guy is in a long-term reltaionship with a stable gf - i.e. once he finds someone he can be comfortable with, he will explode - take everything out on his girl. i don't know how true it is, but if that's the case it's obviously not good!
  • mahz

    nice guys actually aren't.... that is just part of the ploy to get ass.  I do the same thing...
  • LucyWrites
    You know what???

    I don't even know what to look for anymore. I don't want the kind of asshole that will use "talking straight" as a cover for treating me like shit and then expecting me to thank him for it because he was being "honest".

    But then again I don't want a guy who is only acting like a girl with a penis so that he can ultimately get in my pants.

    Blah. Why must it be so complicated.

  • tjbruin00

    What's wrong with playing video games, drinking alcohol and beating women?

    Props for hating man pussies, but you're going to have to ease up on those other restrictions.  Convicts need love too. :)
  • RaVnR

    I call them the "doormat" men.
  • zontiago

    those aren't nice guys, they are, just like you said, pussies. big fat pussies. 
  • mrcolorful

    I agree with you "nice" guys are pansies and pushovers.  However there are nice guys who are not and are not just in it for ass as Mahz so eloquently put it.
  • yl62319
    This is not going to end well...

    :( i've to disagree with you on that one.  I'm the nice type who actually listens and give respectful responses to provide temporary comfort and relief.  I don't consider myself a doormat ever.  I have to apologize for what I am about to say, but its how i felt.

     I do think women tends to contradict themselves *sorry again* when comes what woman want in a man.  I.E.  You want a nice guy, but also want a guy who "throw a bag of chip at you".  You ask man for the truth, and when we tell it do you, you give us "the look." 

    I think we need to specify the term of "use" in a relationship.  It's true that friends do favors for each other whether it's comfort or temporary release of stress.  Our shoulders are there for each others to cry on, but we all have to move on and be independent.

    Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus :[

    Good post~

  • Drakonskyr

    I've never been able to be a nice guy. It's just...not in my blood.
  • CaKaLusa

    don't rock the boatttt!

    /shove
  • daeshii

    BRAVO!!  It's nice to see in print exactly how I feel about nice guys!!  Awesome job!!
  • Scrooge0
    gloomy...

    Ha ha...oh where to begin...all guys sometime start as the "nice" guy, then get screwed by one of "those" girls and eventually end up as the "asshole" guy and treats "those" girls like trash then "those" girls wonder where all the "nice" guys have gone. I'm going to give it to you straight, if you really meant what you wrote in your post, then consider my chips thrown: =)

    Girls rarely know exactly what they want. They want the guy to listen to them when they need it, they want the flowers for no good reason, and they want the guy to beat the living daylights out of the next jerk who crosses her =) I think you have taken this as an over-generalization that even gay men and women may not agree with. What you describe is not a "nice" guy, but a low self-esteem doormat man. They do the nice things because they don't know their own worth. They grovel because they think it is the only way they believe they can overcome their self-imposed inadequacies. There are lots of confident men out there who do the gentleman thing and seek the higher moral plane because it is the right thing to do. Men that will take the effort to give a little bit of themselves to make those around them and associated with them feel appreciated and treated fairly. Those are not only "nice" men, but "great" men, and I am proud to say that I have know a good many "great" men in my life. If all people only gave back what they were given, there'd be nothing but "assholes" around.

  • vikas

    Great post! If you're being a "nice" guy just to get in some girls pants, not only is it probably not going to work, but it's pathetic.

    On the flip side, there are also "nice" girls who are no fun to hang out with. Basically girls who agree with everything you say, are willing to give up what they were planning on doing always to hang out with you, or are prudish and unfunny because they're too polite. Boring.
  • authentic_black_dragon

    "In my world, I have another name for them: pussies."

    FUCK YEAH! YOU SHARE MY EXACT SAME POV!

    I'm glad I subscribed! I AGREE 100% KICK ASS MUTHA FUCKA! /excitement.
  • andychuu

    wow so true hahahaha. i think the "nice guy" is just a sorry excuse for the insecurities. i dont have anything against nice guys, shoot i'm a nice guy in the sense that i'm not a jerk, but i do have enough confidence to tell it how it is to slap people back into reality hahaha. good post

    -andy
  • ladyvince15

    i concur. i have invisible balls. the least my man can do is have real ones. 
  • TheKillerPotato

    balls.  a guy needs those.
  • NeverBeBeat

    nice.  plus, i thought relationships were about both people reaching their full fucking potential?  not about letting someone do what they want to do and walk all over you.  neither person is supposed to be a pushover in the relationship, come to think about it.  =T

    *poke*
  • fee2bme

    yay!

    i have a term for these guys -- i call them cheerleaders.

    http://weblog.xanga.com/fee2bme/615997507/the-cheerleaders.html

    i wrote a post on the female version of the "nice guy" you're talking about -- we gotta 'em too.

    i break 'em out whenever i need an ego boost!
  • adifferentkindofbeautiful

    i can't respect a person- regardless of gender- if they don't stand up for themselves or say what they really feel

    i imagine it'd be hard for a man without balls to have sex even if he did get a girl

    not that i've tested that theory

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